How to Trust Sobriety
This section is helpful for both betrayed partners AND sex addicts. For sex addicts, it is important that we remember to let our partner into our recovery process. Take control and don't wait for questions.
Eight Signs of Trustworthiness
Here are eight signs indicating that the sex addict is either becoming or is, in fact, more trustworthy:
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He is fully engaged in recovery activities without expressing resentment or acting as though he feels like a victim.
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When you ask questions about the past or his recovery work, he's open to answering your questions and only occasionally defensive.
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When you're together as a couple you feel that he is fully present most of time.
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He is transparent and forthcoming about his whereabouts, use of money, and his online or electronic activities.
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He demonstrates the ability to empathize with your feelings, especially about his past behaviors.
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When you express discomfort about an event, activity, or even an article of his clothing that is a trigger for you, he is open to making changes in an effort to repair damage caused in the past.
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When you make reasonable requests, he either agrees or negotiates a mutually agreeable solution.
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In general, he appears more engaged in life with less forgetfulness and distraction.
From Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
Therapy Lesson
"Sobriety is about what you don't do. Recovery is about what you do."
Stephen Levine
"We must come to trust the processs of healing enough to open our heart to the unknown."
James Thurber
"Let us not look backward in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness."